How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
