So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
