Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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