I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
bring money and cleavage
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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