I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
