But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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