I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
