My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
