Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
