Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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