There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
