She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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