Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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