I want you more than these girls want KFC
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
