they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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