I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
