that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
