are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
