I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
