I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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