but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
