so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
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My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
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New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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