I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
