Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
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currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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