is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
