It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
