They should really pass out barf bags in church
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
