Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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