when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
