Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
