Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
zippers are such a cool invention
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
