I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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