he thought i was a dude.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
