when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
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i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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