i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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