Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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