I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
