I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
