Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
