also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
