Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize