I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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