A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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