Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
