i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
