She is in my trunk
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize