Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
