adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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