ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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