loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
