So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize