I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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