a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
